Your Practical Magic

Show Notes and Transcripts: Discover More

April 10, 2020



Episode 8: Stillness


Noreen: Welcome to this episode of your practical magic. We wanted to talk a little bit about our response to, all the energy regarding the media coverage and the nerves, the heightened sense of alert and alarm that it's put the world into., So it prompted us to ask the question of ourselves what's your go-to when you don't know what to do?  I think a lot of us are trained and have a knee jerk reaction of trying to find a solution, trying to find hand sanitizer.Apparently I'm trying to fix the problem, but we would like to offer an alternative point of view, which is being with it, which is being still with these reactions and these realities and finding how you really feel about it and working through that. So our past tense is more of a present tense this time around.It's something that we're all still dealing with,  so ladies, let me pose the question to you. What do you do?  What's your knee jerk go to when something like this or even something personal that creates a little sense of crisis in your world? How do you handle that?

Gennifer:  Well for me,  it depends on, what it is. I think if it's something that's happening to friend or family, my reaction is to jump in and save the day or find a solution to ease their suffering, if we will.

Noreen: To stop their experience.

Gennifer: Exactly. For myself, it again, depends, but  really in the past couple of years, listening to a lot of podcasts, reading a lot of books, studying a lot of modalities  and finding a lot of inspirational quotes from various spiritual leaders the constant message is sometimes the best thing to do is to be still and be quiet. That recently happened to me a couple months ago, I had a major client that, we wrapped up and I started to panic and my brain said, you know, get out there and start hustling quickly. And my body just would not let me go near a computer. I just felt like I needed to  lay down and look out the window at my trees that I love and not do anything and just be quiet And, It served me well in that not trying to make the river go in the other direction, which is what  a therapist of mine years ago used to say to me all the time. What I needed came to me… other projects came my way.  More importantly, I was able to calm myself down and not have the fear to start burning my energy or burning me out. Because that is something that ultimately is counterintuitive to what you're trying to accomplish  It attracts the opposite of ultimately what you want it to attract. Probably attracts more situations that cause more fear versus just being quiet and trusting that things are going to resolve themselves in some way.

Noreen: Yeah. It's interesting to think about, what you said and the power that lies in quiet time, that more fallow time. It's not always easy, but it does get easier. The more you do it is to just, , be with yourself in those times and take an honest, comforting, compassionate. Look at, at how you're feeling and ways that you can shift it.

E.J.: What's happening in the world springing up for me .. it's fear. My first reaction is to sort of stay there and  just be kind of silent  take it in. And I think that's interesting as they're telling people that don't feel well to stay home. And what is it as a society that we pushed through all these illnesses that we don't feel like we could  stay home when we're sick I think there is a lesson for all of us. In New York city, the public schools that when you want to go to middle or high school, they judge your attendance, Even for a kid, they’ve been taught, lyou've got to show up, which is a good thing to show up, but not when you're sick and it's not the right time. Exactly. I just think as a culture, we're always pushing ourselves. There is so much, like Gennifer was saying, to be learned from, slowing down and being still; there's so much healing that can be done. It's just ironic that we have to stay still, ,as a society right now.

Noreen: It made me think, you know, part of the panic, is a real, um, health situation going on and a lot of it is about the high level of infectious spread that this is anchored in. And that is what begets thethe need for the stillness and the quarantining and et cetera. But at the same time, maybe some of the reaction, uh, is that reluctance to be still, right? You know, and it's like, I have a routine There are some real economic realities for people  But we're really kind of looking at that comfort level of just being  quiet  with yourself and not creating the spin of energy to keep going or fix things. Exactly like, so you asked the question, how do you react?

E.J.: On smaller things. I'm the squirrel, right? Or I used to be this girl. So I would look for the big shiny object that I could run to. I kept my mind so busy and ran to different things. It was a distraction, so I didn't have to deal with it.  The opposite of stillness. I think a lot of people might find that they do that cause it keeps you so busy, you don't have to deal with anything that's going on in your head or you know, in your life.

Noreen: You can  keep yourself  super busy. I think I've joked about this before, but I call it IDSS, which is, I'm doing something syndrome.

Gennifer: Okay. Funny. Yeah. I love that. It's like, Oh well I was busy. Right. It's so true or good cause I'm busy.  Really it is such a society thing here in the States, and especially in New York and other places too. We're in the country where it's this ridiculous badge of honor that you're so exhausted from working so hard. As a new Yorker, when it's nice out, I feel like I have to go outside. it's like there's nice weather and then I am obligated to go outside today, sitting in doors all day on a beautiful day, watching TV would just be like criminal. I had a friend who grew up in California and they have a lot of nice days out there She was okay taking a day off to do nothing on a day where it's beautiful outside, where I felt even more obligated to go do something. The only days I feel like I'm okay not to do something  is if it’s snowing or if it's pouring rain and it's a weekend. Otherwise I'm like up and Adam! I just started feeling less guilty about even just binge watching a show, which I did last weekend. I enjoyed the experience of doing nothing.

Noreen: Which part didn't you enjoy?

Gennifer: I really got sucked into a show that's not really a show that I would normally watch- Love is Blind on Netflix. Did you see it?

Noreen: Well, I think you're part of the zeitgeist. Everybody's watching that.

Gennifer: I didn't watch every single episode. I will give myself a pat on the back, but I did skip to the chase... The weddings. I fast forwarded to the point where they showed up and like, yes? or no?

Noreen: The phrase Love is Blind there's something to it, not,  in the classic way, but related back to the stillness. Loving without needing to see where you're going. You know, loving what's going on without needing to know where it's headed.

Gennifer: Yeah. Well, being present is a real big part  of being able to, pull yourself out of the fear unless you're literally being attacked by an animal. Lot of these things, whether it's the  global fear of this virus, or, how do I get  business or whatever it is. The fight, flight or freeze comes from so many different places. The media, the voices in your head, your family,  that burns out your adrenal glands, at the very least physically in your body.

Noreen: Yeah, the glands get exhausted, but so does everything touched by that overflow of those hormones because they don't get shaken off. Like we've talked about if you see a dog get scared by something or an animal in the wild, once that threat has passed. They literally shake it off and they've reset. We don't do that. So we have to consciously apply some tools to do that. But you're right, Jen, because that's a lot of people walk around in, fight, flight and freeze response mechanism that doesn't ever end. It's a loop. They're cascading those hormones constantly, becomes debilitating. Ironically not only emotionally and mentally, but on the immune system physically just when you need your immune system to be strong.

Gennifer: At the end of the day, if you can just be present in that moment and realize at this moment, I'm safe at this moment, this is happening, and stay there.

Noreen: You could do exactly what you just said in the middle of a ballgame or in the middle of, a concert you are actually being still…, you're still in your center.

Gennifer: That's really  because I have spent many years in that fight or flight mode, even  for just stupid things at work, , coming from a meeting and hearing that a deadline coming up sooner than we thought and people freaking out. And sometimes I would get sucked up into it and sometimes I wouldn't, I would have my feet on the ground, which is definitely a way to  bring yourself back to present.  We  just,  need to get, a sticker produced in time for an event. We're so conditioned to run and gun at all times and solve problems and put out fires. Everything has to be perfect. It just all adds to this madness. And when you do look at some of these cultures that live so long, they're not living on  mattresses. They're just present and they're just in the moment, and there's probably like a a great health benefit to just not getting sucked up into that fear and being still and being quiet and just being present.

Noreen: I think that they are probably living more present and more consciously than most of us are, and we have a lot to learn.  We talk about media, et cetera, having come from the media field, but there is a constant external stimulus and it's almost like a Venus fly trap. You know what I mean? It's, it's out there. It's ready to pull you in if you're willing to fly right into it, you know? But you do have a choice. And we've talked before when each of us have, shared about a realization. It's almost as if you suddenly realize that there's little bit of time in between, that pull and that response and that you can make a different choice.

E.J.:  I've just started to give myself, if I don't have the answer to something let me think about it. I'll get back to you. And I never had that in my vocabulary before. I always felt like I had to respond right away to things., I'm still practicing that as a communication device, but it really is super powerful to allow yourself the time. You don't have to answer something right away. Giving yourself the quiet or the stillness to see really, how do you feel about something. That's become a false, expectation, like who said that we were supposed to. We all just think that we should. Right.

Noreen: What you just said is exactly buying yourself that time. That need, that opening between, something coming at you and your response to it and whether, is it going to be a reaction or a response. The funny thing is with a little bit of practice, you start to realize that everything, well, almost everything that you thought was so timely isn't so timely. If you do say, you know what, I've got to take a look at that and I'll get back to you.  Even if it's three breaths or whatever it is.  We've talked about this a lot leaving the room, do whatever you have to do it is really this centering and stillness some sort of calm.  It's really, really powerful. The best decisions are usually made when you're in that state. Yeah. And again, we've said this too, but just to be really obvious. It's the breath that. Is getting you back in the body in these times., You're taking a little break. You've gotten yourself out of what felt like a pressure to make a response. But it's in the breathing that you re-center and you can get the answers because the answers are coming from… your soul self, your higher self and your body. It's almost as if you have to go have a little side meeting from whatever's happening. It's like, I've got to talk to my team and I'll get back to you. Well, guess what? My team is my body, mind and soul. We're going to go like that little tiny practice.

E.J.: Something that I'm practicing now, I use it in my repertoire. Even with my kids, I don't have to have all the answers exactly when they want me to have the answers.

Noreen: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Super powerful because really,  what a time saver, you know? I mean, beyond the fact that it's going to help you more deeply connect to your truth , and to what is the right move to make next. But by doing that, you're not sending a cascade again of chain reactions into play into a direction that's not the right direction for you. I mean, because then people can feel trapped. It's very imprisoning. It really comes down to,   the fear of the unknown and pausing to let the known come forward as it's supposed to or when it's supposed to. It,  supports your ability to be comfortable in the unknown and to embrace the allowing. Yeah. Because like you shared practically with your story about the freelance assignment, there are just times  you have to create more space to allow a shift to happen or allow something to come in. And so far the way that, you know, we've been raised doesn't really embrace that. Exactly. You want to answer it right away. Yeah. But will you like that answer? Will that be the right answer? That's just interesting. You learn from experience.

Gennifer: When you force it, you mean?

Noreen: Yeah.

Gennifer: Oh, for sure. It's never really the right, it's always more of like the wrong answer. Right. Feeding itself in a way.

Noreen:, There you go,  it's the repeating it, right. Because what you're doing is you're just jumping on it from that same energy that just creates more of that and so,  it might assuage that issue in the short term. But you're going to end up   back there before too long.

Gennifer:  So going back to, the global fear that's going right now, it's. the washing your hands and wiping things down.When you think about, , trying to be present and stay present. For me, something that works is getting grounded. I find that when I purposely notice the sensation of my feet on the ground, whether I'm barefoot or in shoes, but having that sensation, my feet on the ground helps me actually connect to the present and get grounded. There's also the exercise you can do of imagining roots growing out of your feet into the ground deeper into the ground, which really helps anchor you. And I've used that in moments where I'm sort of having an outer body experience through fear or through just, you know, a whirlwind of activity that just stopping for a minute and feeling your feet on the ground actually helps you get present and stay present.

Noreen: Maybe we'll wrap up today's doses with some Eden energy work, which is about triple warmer.  We talked about before, going back to adrenaline and cortisol rushing through your system as a response to the fight, flight and freeze.  A Stimulus that might've happened. I'm going to try to give you, two exercises that you haven't gotten before.  I will remind you that we've done fear tap before, but I'm going to do that one too, because it seems very apropos right now, and it's a super easy one to share with you guys. So we'll make it three. Let's start with Fear Tap. What you're going to do is take one hand and, place your three middle fingers on the fleshy area that's on the back of the opposite hand in between the ring finger and the pinky finger. Okay, so right between the two bones there, you're going to find that sort of fleshy triangle and you're just going to tap for a count of 10 on that area. And one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Then hold for another count of 10  removing your, fingers. Don't tap, doesn't matter, but don't tap. And then you're going to do the same thing for a total of three times. So once again, tap for a count of 10 and hold for a count of 10 and tap again and hold for a count of 10  that's your last set so you can release it. I actually felt a shift there and I wasn't even feeling fearful.

Gennifer: Yeah.

Noreen: I wasn't, I didn't realize it or whatever. Or maybe it's just, you know, even if you're not feeling fearful, you are kind of aware and present to the energy of that's going around. I'm in such a heightened state these days. So even if you're not feeling fearful, do fear tap, I just learned in, in cases of global fear,   And now let me share with you Triple Warmer Spleen Regulator Balancer, which is also known as Cover the Eyes if anybody wants to Google it. And you'll also be able to find that on our Facebook and Instagram streams. Okay, so I do want to mention that this is triple warmer spleen regulator, which means that we're balancing both triple warmer and spleen. We've talked a lot about triple warmer, less about spleen. So I want to let you know that when triple warmer is completely activated and flipped out. It runs next door and  totally siphons energy from spleen, which isn't a good thing because together they're regulating our immune system and our overall vitality in many ways. That's why this makes for a powerful exercise. It also activates our radiant circuits, which are our joy hyperlinks. So beyond the overall. Energetic and physiological balance that you get from doing this, you actually heightened the ability for those energy systems to attract and retain joy. if that's not a motivator, here we go. We're going to start by closing both eyes and laying your middle fingers sideways over each eye so that it's parallel to the lash line, and you're just going to take a nice inhale. Exhale. And on your next inhale, while your eyes are still covered, you're going to start to drag your fingers across the eyes and out to the temples, exhaling as you do. So when you're at your temples, you're now going to inhale while dragging your fingers up and over the ears just to the top of the ear, and you're going to exhale as you continue to drag your fingers down and around your ears. Now you're going to travel to your shoulders. On the next inhale, you're going to hang your fingers on the shoulders at your neck, pressing into your shoulder firmly. Now what you're doing is you're basically like in the mid-point between the end of your arm and your neck. I call them the weight of the world points because they're usually tender for most people. And you're going to know when you're there, you guys feel that there's a tenderness. Cool. Now, some people can do this, like, you know, right side to right side, left side to left side. I am more comfortable when I cross my arms. So whatever makes it more comfortable for you to reach and put a little pressure on those points. You're just pressing in there. Now on your next inhale, if you didn't cross your arms, you're going across them now, and on the next exhale, you're going to smooth your hands down the top of your arms from the shoulder to the forearms, down and off the hands. On your next inhale, you're going to place your hands flat across your ribs, under the breasts. And on your next exhale, you're just going to sweep the energy down your torso, down your legs to the front surface of your legs and off the feet. And we joked about this last time as a bonus, but you're going to, this is not part of the exercise, but it does give energy to  feeds spleen. You're going to come up the inside of your feet, the inside of your legs, up to the groin. When you're at the grower and you're going to travel across the groin crease and up the midline of your torso to your armpit, and then down to basically the bottom of your bra if you're a woman, and if you're a man, you kind of know what I'm talking about anyway, and there you go. Nice. All right, so I think that's plenty of doses. We'd love to hear what people think by experimenting and experiencing these. Please share. What about crushes? Does anyone have any crush to support our episode today?

Gennifer: I'm going to say David Byrne. All right. A man dedicated to transcendental meditation. Yes.  I just think that no matter what's going on in the world, he seems to be grounded being present, and, in his current live performance on Saturday Night Live of most famous songs, I just found that, was really about the joy of being present and not pulling yourself into Chaos around you.

Noreen: Funny because I talked about the radiant aspect of the exercise we just did and yeah. that performance embodied that. I mean, that's what we would call the radiant joy. That radiant circuits can bring you in that present state. Those were incredible performances.     

Gennifer: For my human kindness. I, this morning, I, well, I slept a lot last night. I apparently needed it and I woke up this morning and I found, the space in my house where I usually work with my laptop, was completely. Just bear. And I saw my husband with some cleaning things. I just assumed that the cat or the kids knock something over and he was cleaning something up.  And, I asked what happened and he said that he was just cleaning the space where I work. Like just making it nicer for me.

Noreen: Well, that's a lovely way to end our episode today. Thank you very much for listening. Thank you ladies for all of the insights. Goodbye

Episode 5: Authenticity

Episode 4: Boundaries: The Space Between

  • Eden Method: The Celtic Weave
  • Swiming the Aura/Drawing the Aura Curtain combo:   video coming!
  • Gennifer's 4 Tips:
    • 1. Know Your Limits
    • 2. Be Assertive
    • 3. Practice Makes Perfect
    • 4. Delete & Ignore

Episode 3: Step from Stuck to Started

Episode 2: Shiny Happy Chakras with AIT Master Trainer, Catherine Varino

Episode 1: On Being Empowered

Episode 15: The Presents of Presence

Episode 14: Synchronicities

  • Dose: To Pay Attention and look for the synchronicities in your life

Animal Totem Descriptions:

Episode 13: The Attitude of Gratitude

Episode 12: Fields Trip with NY’s Intuitive Guide, Nanci Deutsch, MSW, on “Intuition”

Episode 11: Witch, Please

Episode 10: Navigating Change: Jump into the unexpected Change

Episode 9: Navigating Change: The Change you want to see 

Episode 8: Field Trip with Sam Cagnina on Unexpected Change

Episode 7: Navigating Change: The Unexpected Kind

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Episode 6: Fields Trip with wthn's Shari Auth

Episode 5: Ageless

Episode 4: Fields Trip with Phoenix Green

Episode 3: Perceptions

Episode 2: Fields Trip with Tina Corrado

Episode 1: Away We Go: Introductions!

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